As much as we Bahraini Bellas bitch about one another, hate on each other, and are just all around mean, we have a lot on common! Whether you are a conservative wall-flower or a flamboyant diva, we are all just looking for true love. Well, ladies, let me help you on your journey to conform in a disfunctional but ultimately wholesome relationship. (Lets be honest, all that relationship advice from Sex & the City just does not apply to us!)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Beware of the Dog!

Pretty much every girl thinks she has the thurough experience with guys and dating, being able to weed out the prince from the pervert. Much of this credit goes to our Showtime references, but our local creeps have adapted to our new found knowledge of douches, and much like bacteria, they are changing and bettering themselves into the elite ranking of assholes.

So girlies, pay attention to what mama Bella has to say because I have seen it, heard it, busted it all. I know you think "He's different!" WRONG! If you see symptoms of your "Mister Wonderful" on this list, seriously 7abibty, get real, and get over him before he drops you like you're Pluto.

1. The Man-Whore
Symptoms: Excessive attention to superficial things, many "female" friends, boasting whenever given the chance.
Man-Whores tend to act like they are dazzling, Brad Pitt's but are so modest and down to Earth they just blow you off your feet. I.don't.think.so. When you notice him bring up his never-ending list of girl "friends" who are like his "sisters" and spends waaaay too much time on the phone or out with these girls, 7ayati go bye bye! These species of men always plaster themselves in brands and talk far too much about money, try hard to look like they're kash5a and are the shit, but in fact are societys nobodys and are only keeping you around to stroke their ego and make themselves feel better for the loseriya status. Not serious, not boyfriend material, DEFINITELY not long term lover material. They work on weak and shattered girls before making their way to a rich heiress that will pay for everything. The last thing any girl needs is a guy making them feel like they are not good enough and should be thanking their lucky stars to have someone "settling" for them.


2. The Asshole
Symptoms: gigantic ego, no real intelligence, self absorbed
The Assholes are the kinds of guys who make fun of a girl, talk down to her, speak extremely highly of themselves, and make a girl feel like she isn't worthy. There are also the hybrid Man-Whore-Holes who show symptoms of both and are an especially disgusting breed. They have very low self-esteem, very bad upbringings, and are not the kind of man you want around. The Assholes usually prey on girls who are pretty but skeptical about their true value, which no girl should be (Because all girls are amazing and beautiful)


3. The Softy
Symptoms: using the word "Wa3" often, judgemental, over-sensitive
We all know girls think bugs are icky and make fun of other girls hairy arms, when a guy does it though... NO! If a guy makes fun of your slightly bushy eyebrows or that you look "embarassing" tell him to pick up his bra and get out of your life. Guys are hairy and smelly and generally gross, so Softy don't go telling your girl she needs to wax or 7iff when you are in fact the gorilla-diva.

4. The Half-Wits
Symptoms: gossips way too much, talks about "slutty" exs, notices everyones flaws
Well clearly these are the type of guys who spend too much time with mama and their sisters thinking theyre saints (often their sisters are the biggest hoes ever) but think its alright to trash other peoples sisters. These are the types of guys that you say "Ib3ed 3an ilshar ou '3aneelo", they bitch about other girls? They're probably going to do the same to you. You think its funny when they make fun of people who pass you and their flaws? Not so funny when things go wrong between you two and you become the receiving end of rude, spiteful comments. Scum will always be scum!

5. The Busy One
Symptoms: 40% of the time hes with his friends, 30% of the time hes in the maylas, 29% of the time hes with his parents.
Hes married.

Attention, attention! Its hard to find a prince these days, and don't be fooled, just because someone dresses like one, does not mean they are one. Actions speak louder than words. They get smarter and sleazier by the year, and dont fool yourselves by thinking hes different, they all just want to get some action. Don't sink down to the "friends with benefits" level, just because he doesn't say thats what you are, doesn't mean hes not thinking it!

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