Busting the Singles' Blues

T.G.I.F! Yalla girlies, turn that frown upside-down

We're all dreaming, in our own unique way, of prince charming, the perfect castle to share, and the life filled with clouds, unicorns, and butterflies. What sucks is most guys are jerks, they prefer hoes because why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free? The good guys, unfortunately, are always taken. DAMN! ALWAYS!

The sad truth is many marriages end, romances fade, and love stories just don't happen often. The more you think about the shoulda,woulda,coulda the more you miss out on how wonderful and privileged your life is. Don't agree? You clearly have your own laptop, you can relate to stories about attempting to find love, you also might be giggling at them, 3 things to be thankful for right there. Freedom, experience, and a sense of humor! Your not forced into a marriage to a virtual stranger, you still have some sense of control, you have the opprotunity to experience, make mistakes, and learn instead of just doing what you are told to. Life is not as grim as we make it, the more negative thoughts we have the darker our aura, and I personally believe its that bright happy glow that draws people to you like a moth to a flame. Who knows? Maybe one of those people turns out to be il7ub.


Here is the quickest remedy for loneliness, guaranteed success (tried and tested)

Step 1. Do your hair and nails, put on some smokey eye shadow and nude lipstick. Throw on a pair of super high heels and jeggings or any outfit that makes you feel very hot and sexy.

Step 2. Make a kick ass CD, tons of Black Eyed Peas and Katy Perry songs

Step 3. Call your 3 closest friends and head out for a spin in the car

Step 4. Turn up the CD from Step 1 up insanely loud (it is advised to sing along to the songs especially if you sound like nails on a chalkboard and could potentially ruin the song for everyone else in the vehicle forever)

Step 5. Stop for Ice-Cream

Step 6. Drive down to the beach, or somewhere by the sea, park your car and take the stupidest photos of each other you possibly can

Step 7. Head to a fast-food restaurant and eat in.

Step 8. Go to a party store and pick up balloons for each other (Why, you say? No,no, you mean why not!)

Step 9. Return to one of your friends' places and play some 90's hits (Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Spice Girls, some cheesey nasty Night at the Roxbury music), dance as seriously as you possibly

Step 10. Pull out your yearbook (or baby albums) and go crazy until someones feelings get hurt. Then apologize. And start again.

Lifes short, the end is near, live it up, laugh at yourself, get stupid, hug your friends. How awesome is it being young and alive? Very awesome. Sulk tomorrow, enjoy today! Do 5 things you wouldn't do any other day, fun or stupid things, let yourself be a douche for a day, if anything your friends will have a good laugh and that'll definately make you feel better.

Beware of the Dog!

Pretty much every girl thinks she has the thurough experience with guys and dating, being able to weed out the prince from the pervert. Much of this credit goes to our Showtime references, but our local creeps have adapted to our new found knowledge of douches, and much like bacteria, they are changing and bettering themselves into the elite ranking of assholes.

So girlies, pay attention to what mama Bella has to say because I have seen it, heard it, busted it all. I know you think "He's different!" WRONG! If you see symptoms of your "Mister Wonderful" on this list, seriously 7abibty, get real, and get over him before he drops you like you're Pluto.

1. The Man-Whore
Symptoms: Excessive attention to superficial things, many "female" friends, boasting whenever given the chance.
Man-Whores tend to act like they are dazzling, Brad Pitt's but are so modest and down to Earth they just blow you off your feet. I.don't.think.so. When you notice him bring up his never-ending list of girl "friends" who are like his "sisters" and spends waaaay too much time on the phone or out with these girls, 7ayati go bye bye! These species of men always plaster themselves in brands and talk far too much about money, try hard to look like they're kash5a and are the shit, but in fact are societys nobodys and are only keeping you around to stroke their ego and make themselves feel better for the loseriya status. Not serious, not boyfriend material, DEFINITELY not long term lover material. They work on weak and shattered girls before making their way to a rich heiress that will pay for everything. The last thing any girl needs is a guy making them feel like they are not good enough and should be thanking their lucky stars to have someone "settling" for them.


2. The Asshole
Symptoms: gigantic ego, no real intelligence, self absorbed
The Assholes are the kinds of guys who make fun of a girl, talk down to her, speak extremely highly of themselves, and make a girl feel like she isn't worthy. There are also the hybrid Man-Whore-Holes who show symptoms of both and are an especially disgusting breed. They have very low self-esteem, very bad upbringings, and are not the kind of man you want around. The Assholes usually prey on girls who are pretty but skeptical about their true value, which no girl should be (Because all girls are amazing and beautiful)

3. The Softy
Symptoms: using the word "Wa3" often, judgemental, over-sensitive
We all know girls think bugs are icky and make fun of other girls hairy arms, when a guy does it though... NO! If a guy makes fun of your slightly bushy eyebrows or that you look "embarassing" tell him to pick up his bra and get out of your life. Guys are hairy and smelly and generally gross, so Softy don't go telling your girl she needs to wax or 7iff when you are in fact the gorilla-diva.

4. The Half-Wits
Symptoms: gossips way too much, talks about "slutty" exs, notices everyones flaws
Well clearly these are the type of guys who spend too much time with mama and their sisters thinking theyre saints (often their sisters are the biggest hoes ever) but think its alright to trash other peoples sisters. These are the types of guys that you say "Ib3ed 3an ilshar ou '3aneelo", they bitch about other girls? They're probably going to do the same to you. You think its funny when they make fun of people who pass you and their flaws? Not so funny when things go wrong between you two and you become the receiving end of rude, spiteful comments. Scum will always be scum!

5. The Busy One
Symptoms: 40% of the time hes with his friends, 30% of the time hes in the maylas, 29% of the time hes with his parents.
Hes married.

Attention, attention! Its hard to find a prince these days, and don't be fooled, just because someone dresses like one, does not mean they are one. Actions speak louder than words. They get smarter and sleazier by the year, and dont fool yourselves by thinking hes different, they all just want to get some action. Don't sink down to the "friends with benefits" level, just because he doesn't say thats what you are, doesn't mean hes not thinking it!

First Date Fails

You got your make up done, hair blow dried, packed your baby LV, and your pumps on, you look like a million dinars, you foxy Arabian diva!

You get to your date, obviously half that make up has melted off from the 30 second walk from the car to the cafe door, and the hair has gone from straight to flat and greasy. No worries, you can still salvage your date.

Okay, you started off with light-hearted suwalif. How was your day? How was class? How was work? How hot is it today, like worse than yesterday? Hehe.. yup... 
Wait for it, wait for iiiit...
BAM!!! Awkward silence.


Gets the best of us, even the sluts who have been around the block 10 times over still experience the awkward silences! But don't fret my pets. Here are some do's and dont's when in comes to conversating for the first time:

Do discuss hobbies. The more interesting you are the less likely he will pretend he has some obscure dinner with his parents or has to feed his dog.

Don't talk about your ex's. Honestly if you do just pick up your shit and leave 'cause game over.

Do bring up your relationship with your friends and family, positive influences in your life.

Don't talk about marriage. Just don't. Really.

Do share things you are interested in: animals, fashion, movies, etc. Seriously highlight good things about yourself.


Don't talk about dramatic things in your life. La tmalileen ilrayal mn awalha.

Do discuss different highschool/university experiences.

Don't get caught up in your memories and isra7 and ramble and go on and on and on and on.........

Do talk about some of the silliest things you've done in the last few years.

Don't talk about ur past mistakes, 7adda buzzkill.

Do get playful and funny.

Don't get acting and dramatic.

Do ask questions about his conversations and indulge yourself in them

Don't cut him off and talk about your similar topic. Its rude. Annoying too.

Do talk astronomy and biology

Don't talk chemistry and geometry

Do discuss music

Don't banter about Kim Kardashian

Overall just be the kind of company you enjoy being around! And, of course, always be yourself because that is the best person you can be. (Seriously don't be all acting and thgeel guys pick up on that stuff and take you for a spin then ditch you, seriously!)

All Dressed Up & Goin No Where

The dreaded question that haunts every girl trying to connect with her potential beau in Bahrain: Where do we go? Every girl.

Would it or would it not be amazing to be able to hop in a cab and head for dinner in some Bohemia-chic restaurant down in Soho like in Gossip Girl? Or throw on your sundress and head to the beach like in 90210?

Oh, if only...

So what is the answer? Where can you have a nice, quiet meeting with the guy you have just settled in to and want to spend quality time with? Where you wont run into familiar faces? Not too sleazy? Not too far away? Where oh where oh where...

Now the problem is not just where to go, but what impression to give off by your choice of date spot. No girl wants to give off the hoochie mama vibe, but let me tell you, ladies, "cruising" is not the way to go. Not only is driving around the car putting you at potential risk of being pulled over by the po-po (yes, they have the authority to do that) but also its quite tacky! No, girls. Do not resort to the "cruise" option, BAD IDEA!!!

Where should you go? Here are a few spots I've found to be chic, neat, and hush-hush for some good old-fashioned getting to know one another session. I suggest you check out any spots that sound interesting to you beforehand a couple of times with a girlfriend you trust and see if it tickles your fancy.

Minos, Adliya
Although its situated in the heart of block 338, you will hardly find anyone there, especially during weekdays! Its quiet, quaint, has a cute romantic atmosphere going on. The food is very homey, more comfort food than fine dining, but overall secluded and sweet. Quiet enough to have a comfortable conversation in and give the darling impression off too.

Multi Cafe, Juffair
This little cafe is absolutely adorable! Small, almost tiny, but the whole ambiance is delightful. You wont run into anyone you know because there is almost never anyone there! Although it doesn't conceal much in the matter of faces, but it is hardly a problem as its not the hot spot in many peoples radars.

Pastel, Hamala
You would never think that a romantic spot would be situated in the middle of a complex, but they have done it! Pastel is a chocolataire and has a few little tables which situate 2 people, perfect for a first date. Snug, elegant, and always serene. And if all goes well, treat yourself with extra chocolates on your way out! (Note: they close pretty early, so its a pre-sunset destination)

Deja Vu, Adliya
If you're not one to mind a lounging atmosphere, or your guy may have a taste for alcohol, this is the place to be. Classy, low-key, dare I say, invisible! Which is funny since its in the middle of a huge empty lot behind the busiest spot of them all (The Gulf Hotel)

Primavera, The Ritz Carlton
You probably didn't even think of it did you? That is the point! It has always been there but nobody ever thinks to go! Which consequently makes it perfect for a romantic date, if not the best place for one. The food is.. so,so.. but the place is just lovely. Sure win.

Typhoon, The Gulf Hotel
A lot like Mai Tai, this lounge is a little outdoorsy and has a live but not so lively band that plays. The view is gorgeous, and the seating is extremely comfortable. Unfortunately though, its a booze-y spot so if you're not an alcoholic, cross it off the list.

Upstairs Downstairs, Adliya
Another hidden yet obvious wonder, never thought of it did you? That's right, its in your face all the time but you never thought to have dinner or lunch there! Well think again. During the day it is beautiful to say the least and always uncrowded, you will never see it bustling with people, perfect for an afternoon date! The food though, not so great. Who cares though right? You're there for some one-on-one time!

La Chocolat, Bahrain Fort
Another daytime date spot. The Bahrain Fort has a little museum situated right next to it (bet you didn't know that did you!) With a path which leads up to the fort and overlooks the sea. Although it isn't the most snazzy spot, it certainly has a fantastic view; sea, gardens, fort, really what more could you ask for? Put on a breezy outfit, head down there during sunset for tea and cake and then for a walk by the fort. Sun goes down, lights come on, and one of the most stunning views on the island!

Cappuccino Cafe, Saar
Although not so glamorous or fabulous, it has the comfort food that you just can NOT go wrong with. Mostly quiet, generally good service, and very secluded from the public eye. Much like Coco's, only now with better food and much better service (chances of u getting frustrated at a waiter are low!)

and finally,

Amwaj Islands
Park your cars by the Lagoon and head for a walk by the sea! Although it is ridiculously warm in lovely B-town, its still a great view and you can take full advantage of our freebie beaches, especially when you have nothing coming between you and your beau and hours of conversation (Woohoo!) So use it girls, head on down pres de la mer (Ya3ni 3ind ilba7aaaar)

Although they are just a few, I'll make sure to follow up with more hot spots for date nights. Remember ladies, less is more (And by that, I mean make up of course. And maybe clothing)